Adventures frequently start at Wall-Mart...and end with the sperm of a dimpled-cheeked Anti-Christ wriggling inside you while his obscenely handsome brother murmurs words of encouragement...
I am DYING here. I'm sitting in my office trying SO HARD to stifle laughter. This is the most quotable statement ever, I want to make it my personal motto or something.

Ahahahaha you are awesome!