I've had this fic bookmarked for the longest time and I just didn't dare begin. I knew it wasn't gonna be happy. But I love angst. I love sad fics that make my wolrd titlt on its axis as I connect with the characters and cry for them. There was just something that made me apprehensive about this fic; I'm not sure what and I'm not sure if I was right about it or not since I haven't finished it yet, but let me tell you one thing:
I haven't cried this much with the 'little' details, the 'small' scenes, since the first angsty fic I read in the Harry Potter fandom back in 2007. I'm not even kidding.
Your writing. God damn, your writing. It pierces right through my heart every word curving itself on it and it's just so beautiful...I can't even explain it. I don't know how this could possibly end, but for once I don't care about the ending. I care about the journey there, Dean's struggle with himself and reality and his pain...Damn, but there's so much pain and still, the hope to find his love for his brother again...
I'm not reading the fic. I'm listening to it and I guess painted_pain's voice, tone and way of reading it affects the way I'm taking in the story a lot and although I'm not used to audiofics I'm sticking to it.
This is a good death. A natural death. Merciful. If only the body would just hurry up. Dean waits, and wishes, and before the sun goes down he's dragging the body into a cold bath, whispering apologies even though there's no Sam to hear them.
I was sobbing during that, but the part that actually broke my heart was this:
...Sammy I don't know how to take care of someone I'm not that person anymore.
And of course my heart ached with Dean's reluctance to identify 'it' as his brother. Not calling him anything but 'it' and 'the body' and I'm still not clear on why Dean and Sam went their separate ways before Sam said yes, but clearly Dean had buried his brother a long time ago and had time to mourn and accept it, ready to die himslef. I didn't miss something on that front, right? On why Sam and Dean weren't together...I really don't mind if we get an explanation or not because I'm too focused on how Dean will deal now.
Oh God, I just realised how long this is...Sorry for rambling.
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Date: 2011-01-28 05:34 pm (UTC)I haven't cried this much with the 'little' details, the 'small' scenes, since the first angsty fic I read in the Harry Potter fandom back in 2007. I'm not even kidding.
Your writing. God damn, your writing. It pierces right through my heart every word curving itself on it and it's just so beautiful...I can't even explain it. I don't know how this could possibly end, but for once I don't care about the ending. I care about the journey there, Dean's struggle with himself and reality and his pain...Damn, but there's so much pain and still, the hope to find his love for his brother again...
I'm not reading the fic. I'm listening to it and I guess painted_pain's voice, tone and way of reading it affects the way I'm taking in the story a lot and although I'm not used to audiofics I'm sticking to it.
This is a good death. A natural death. Merciful. If only the body would just hurry up. Dean waits, and wishes, and before the sun goes down he's dragging the body into a cold bath, whispering apologies even though there's no Sam to hear them.
I was sobbing during that, but the part that actually broke my heart was this:
...Sammy I don't know how to take care of someone I'm not that person anymore.
And of course my heart ached with Dean's reluctance to identify 'it' as his brother. Not calling him anything but 'it' and 'the body' and I'm still not clear on why Dean and Sam went their separate ways before Sam said yes, but clearly Dean had buried his brother a long time ago and had time to mourn and accept it, ready to die himslef. I didn't miss something on that front, right? On why Sam and Dean weren't together...I really don't mind if we get an explanation or not because I'm too focused on how Dean will deal now.
Oh God, I just realised how long this is...Sorry for rambling.