Fic: Dictionary for a Dead Language; Epilogue

[britomart_is]

Master Post
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Epilogue


Epilogue.

There are two stocky, no-nonsense women drinking antique Coronas in the booth by the door when the kid walks in, making this officially their busiest night since opening.

"Dude," Dean says. "We're cool. We're like a happening spot. We're legitimate business owners."

Sam rolls his eyes and sips from a can of Tab they found in the back closet next to a bag of pork rinds with a pull-date from 1982. "Pillars of the community. Sure they'll give us the key to the city as soon as they're through with the paperwork." Dean punches Sam in the arm. Sam grins till his cheeks hurt.

The young man is standing in front of the bar, staring at Sam. Dean doesn't like it when people stare at Sam. Sam watches Dean's hand casually drifting to rest under the bar where the shotgun is. "I'd ask you for ID," Dean says mildly, "but I'm pretty sure you were a glimmer in the long-haul trucker's eye the last time anyone was issuing government ID. I can hook you up with a grape Fanta. It's a 1995, good vintage."

Sam wishes Dean wouldn't insult people's parentage, particularly since most people's parents are dead these days.

The kid visibly shakes his head as he snaps out of it. "Sorry. I came because I heard a rumor. Wow."

Dean stiffens. He doesn't like it when people hear whispers and come to try to shoot Sam in the back when he turns around to pour their drinks, either. Sam watches Dean's hand curling tighter around the shotgun and jostles him warningly with a knee. The kid's young, swimming in a coat three sizes too big for him, oughta be at some college party, or dragging all his laundry home over break to use his parents' washer. Sam leans over the bar, tries to look non-terrifying. "What can we help you with?"

"Actually, I've got something for you." When the kid reaches into his coat pocket, Sam's afraid Dean'll shoot him, but the kid produces a harmless scrap of paper. A photo. He hands it to Sam. "I thought you'd want this back."

By the time Sam breaks out of his trance, the kid's gone.

"What is it?" Dean asks suspiciously.

"I don't know," Sam says, handing the snapshot over. "I don't remember it."

Sam watches Dean take in the photo, bites his lip at the softening of Dean's facial expression. Dean looks up suddenly. "Where'd that guy get this?"

Sam shrugs. "Don't know. Glad he gave it back. I like it." Sam takes the picture back, lovingly straightening its dogeared edges. "We look happy."

Dean wraps his arms around Sam's waist from behind as Sam turns to face the back of the bar. "We're happy now."

Sam smiles broadly as he tucks the snapshot into the frame of the mirror that spans the wall behind dusty whiskey bottles. "There."

In the photograph, a garish monument looms with styrofoam solemnity in a grassy field. A man, young and momentarily untroubled, smiles bashfully. There's a sun in the sky, and a bird perched on the Welcome to Foamhenge sign. And there are two brothers, together.

the end

Comments

[toolazytowork.livejournal.com]

Beautiful story. Loved Dean taking care of the shell of Sam, the way he started to talk to him and growth of a Sam (even if it wasn't the same Sam) out of the shattered wreckage. So good. It totally drew me in.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful to hear, thank you!

[roque-clasique.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking, fascinating, and fantastic. Thank you for the excellent read.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[violetrose1922.livejournal.com]

This was beautifully done. I love Dean's devotion to Sam, even when he didn't want to be devoted. That sort of defines the Sam/Dean relationship to me and your carried it through this story perfectly. This line, deceptively simple really got to me: "The car seems the right size when Sam's in it."

Thanks so much for sharing.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Oooh, thank you - so interesting to know which line stood out for you! Thanks for the feedback!

[devilyouwere.livejournal.com]

I was expecting to everything to be depressing forever and Sam was going to die, but I'm glad it ended like this. And, alternately, I'm glad that you made it so Sam doesn't remember, yet Dean still wants him around. It's actually a lot more depressing than everyone dying, because you can see how much Dean loves and needs Sam and Sam needs Dean, but just not really in the same way. Idk, what I'm saying, I loved this. I'm grinning like an idiot, yet I am terribly sad. Now I'm all confused, I don't know what I should feel. So I'll just say thank you and leave it at that ♥

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

I'm glad the balance of dark and light worked out for you - thank you for your nuanced response to it! It's really interesting to hear what you think. <3

Re: lovely story

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[debbiel66.livejournal.com]

I read this story so slowly. Read every single word because I didn't want it to end. Thank you so much for this. It was absolutely beautiful.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[growyourwings.livejournal.com]

Wow. Just wow.

I was an hour late to work this morning because I made the mistake of opening this fic. And then after working eleven hours, the first thing I did when I got home was re-open it to where I'd left off. And read it through to the end.

I normally don't enjoy post-apocalyptic stories because, well, sad. But despite the sadness in this fic, the love so strongly overwhelmed it. Loved this.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Eee! That's so fun to hear! I'm glad it sucked you in!
Thank you, and thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts!

[painted-pain.livejournal.com]

And there are two brothers, together. My heart actually skipped a beat and I burst into tears. This fic was so hard to read because you instilled it with so many emotions that were always there, always on the surface, even if you never acknowledged them, and they always leapt out at me. I think it's the way you write and it's amazing. This fic was amazing. It was painful and harsh, but real and agonisingly present, poignant and lyrical and bittersweet.

The epilogue was the perfect, perfect touch, having the boy return the photo. You may have broken my heart but it was so very much worth it.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me to hear that. I'm glad it wasn't just painful.

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That was one hell of a story.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[stormcloude]

Oh God, this was really beautiful. Such a season one and two vibe of Sam and Dean getting to know each other again, and Dean taking so much care and Sam, just broken Sam. Really a great story. Thanks for sharing.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! So interesting to hear you describe it as an S1/S2 vibe - not surprising, now that I think about it!

[aubergineautumn.livejournal.com]

Read it early in the morning, it was so good!

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

High praise! Thank you!

[musesfool.livejournal.com]

This is so lovely and melancholy.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

So glad it worked for you, thank you!

[kairia.livejournal.com]

After reading this, I felt like crying. That's a compliment btw :) wonderful, heart-breaking story - you captured Sam and Dean's relationship perfectly - brilliant, just brilliant.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

<3

[earthquakedream.livejournal.com]

So much perfection in this story. Painfully beautiful. You did such a great job describing Sam's ascent back to human and brother and everything Dean loves. <3

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you, that's so nice to hear!

[secretlytodream.livejournal.com]

This is so gonna be one of my fav fics ever ♥ ♥ ♥

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

♥!

[fioletova.livejournal.com]

I almost cried like a baby while reading this, but it was an awesome read. Such a beautiful and heartbreaking story. I will believe that Sam and Dean finally got their happily ever after in the end.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! And I think that's a very reasonable conclusion to come to about our boys. I encourage it.

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Phenomenal. I read every line as slowly as I could to savour your way with words and make it last. Beautiful. And so *moving*..

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you! What a sweet comment!

[alasse.livejournal.com]

OH GOD. So, when I saw your name and BIGBANG I had to keep myself from dancing around in a stupid flail, and it didn't really work. I FLAILED LIKE AN IDIOT. Even my duck flailed, swear to god.

EHEM. Anyway, forgive the blathering but this is just TOO. FUCKING. GOOD. Your writing -- it's just, god. It's succint and beautiful and perfect, and you write paragraphs that make me choke back tears and then choke back a laugh in the next line, and, god, you write the most beautiful Sam and Dean ever. I am so glad, so glad Dean finally got what he always wanted, and that Sam did, too... because he's Sam, and he's still THERE, but maybe if he really remembered everything he wouldn't be there anymore, you know? Sometimes wounds run too deep.

And, god -- I'm gonna ramble a bit more, sorry, but, yeah, the bleakness of this world suddenly shot through with hope reminded me a lot of McCarthy's The Road, because of this one line in that book that goes "All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes." This story felt like that, it's the best way I have to explain it.

So, yeah, just. SUBLIME. Thank you.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

♥
Thank you, dude! This just made me BEAM. And thank you for the flattering comparison!

[kerfuffling.livejournal.com]

this is absolutely beautiful. i love how this was a sam/dean that actually told a story beyond their physical relationship, and i particularly liked how you handled sam after the fall-out of saying yes to lucifer.

awesome, awesome fic. thanks so much for this :)

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <3

[maraceles.livejournal.com]

Fucking hell, I think I might love you! You wrote a (very slightly AU) coda to “The End!” I just—gah, do you know how long I’ve wanted to see this sort of thing? Because, yes, even that broken, hardened Dean would still love Sam absolutely, with every fiber of his shattered and ruthless being! I’m so ridiculously happy that you decided to tackle this subject matter.

God, this story took my breath away. There was not a single section where my heart wasn’t either breaking or being filled with joy—fuck, sometimes both were happening to me at once. Every bit of Sam’s recovery just killed me—and how he remembers his life in the seconds between saying ‘yes’ and Lucifer taking over, but yet never remembers those moments again? Jesus fuck, women, you’ve gutted me. It’s a small balm to my heart, however, that Dean remembers for him—Sam’s defensive shoulders, his wiggling toes, Dean tying his shoes. (They’re such vivid, specific memories, and they served to completely ground me in Dean’s perspective.) I loved how Dean interpreted this Sam’s actions through the lens of his younger self, and how that knowledge still applied, how even this Sam, without his memories, was so obviously and completely himself.

Your writing is always so visual, so tactile—I could see the destroyed Detroit, a wasted, abandoned Sam, a child in a too-big coat. I could see Dean shaking with his twine-wrapped cardboard box. I could see and hear Dean trampling through the snow, could feel the cold air, could see him grinning at the sky. I could see Sam lying back on their bar counter, could see Dean spitting out a spoiled pickled egg. All of those details make the worlds in your stories so very real to me, and god, I love how you do that.

On top of all of that, every detail just explodes with the love that runs between Sam and Dean. Every. Single. Fucking. Detail. I love your world-building, sure, and your characterizations are awesome, but you just nail that aspect which makes Supernatural so compelling—the earth-shattering love between the boys. Just, god, I love your writing so much it burns me.

Um, shorter version: I am your flailing fangirl. *g*

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I think I'll have to come back and read this comment whenever I'm in a bad mood. Lovely to hear that this hit on a story you'd been wanting to see explored - I mean, that's why I wrote it, I wanted to know what would happen!
Really, I don't know what to say - it's such a treat to read about which bits stood out for you. Thank you for such delightful feedback.

[coiledsoul.livejournal.com]

damn, sister. do you ever have a WAY with these characters. amazing story. thanks for sharing it with the class.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :D

[snglesrvngfrend.livejournal.com]

I liked the story when Sam started talking, was happy with it when he started remembering, but I fell in love with the story when Dean realized Sam didn't actually remember anything. Perfectly bittersweet, with great writing and characterization to boot. I'm so glad you wrote this and even more so that I read it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful thing.

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Glad the twists and turns worked for you, thank you for letting me know!

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written, so sad but always hopeful - thanks for sharing :)

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[lilianblake.livejournal.com]

Your writing is amazing. I really like your characterization. I have a feeling this fic is going to be at the top of my favorite bigbang 2010 fic list at the end of the summer :)

[britomart-is.livejournal.com]

Thank you! <3