Fic: Dictionary for a Dead Language; Epilogue

[britomart_is]

Master Post
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Epilogue


Epilogue.

There are two stocky, no-nonsense women drinking antique Coronas in the booth by the door when the kid walks in, making this officially their busiest night since opening.

"Dude," Dean says. "We're cool. We're like a happening spot. We're legitimate business owners."

Sam rolls his eyes and sips from a can of Tab they found in the back closet next to a bag of pork rinds with a pull-date from 1982. "Pillars of the community. Sure they'll give us the key to the city as soon as they're through with the paperwork." Dean punches Sam in the arm. Sam grins till his cheeks hurt.

The young man is standing in front of the bar, staring at Sam. Dean doesn't like it when people stare at Sam. Sam watches Dean's hand casually drifting to rest under the bar where the shotgun is. "I'd ask you for ID," Dean says mildly, "but I'm pretty sure you were a glimmer in the long-haul trucker's eye the last time anyone was issuing government ID. I can hook you up with a grape Fanta. It's a 1995, good vintage."

Sam wishes Dean wouldn't insult people's parentage, particularly since most people's parents are dead these days.

The kid visibly shakes his head as he snaps out of it. "Sorry. I came because I heard a rumor. Wow."

Dean stiffens. He doesn't like it when people hear whispers and come to try to shoot Sam in the back when he turns around to pour their drinks, either. Sam watches Dean's hand curling tighter around the shotgun and jostles him warningly with a knee. The kid's young, swimming in a coat three sizes too big for him, oughta be at some college party, or dragging all his laundry home over break to use his parents' washer. Sam leans over the bar, tries to look non-terrifying. "What can we help you with?"

"Actually, I've got something for you." When the kid reaches into his coat pocket, Sam's afraid Dean'll shoot him, but the kid produces a harmless scrap of paper. A photo. He hands it to Sam. "I thought you'd want this back."

By the time Sam breaks out of his trance, the kid's gone.

"What is it?" Dean asks suspiciously.

"I don't know," Sam says, handing the snapshot over. "I don't remember it."

Sam watches Dean take in the photo, bites his lip at the softening of Dean's facial expression. Dean looks up suddenly. "Where'd that guy get this?"

Sam shrugs. "Don't know. Glad he gave it back. I like it." Sam takes the picture back, lovingly straightening its dogeared edges. "We look happy."

Dean wraps his arms around Sam's waist from behind as Sam turns to face the back of the bar. "We're happy now."

Sam smiles broadly as he tucks the snapshot into the frame of the mirror that spans the wall behind dusty whiskey bottles. "There."

In the photograph, a garish monument looms with styrofoam solemnity in a grassy field. A man, young and momentarily untroubled, smiles bashfully. There's a sun in the sky, and a bird perched on the Welcome to Foamhenge sign. And there are two brothers, together.

the end

Comments

[dreamtaker247.livejournal.com]

God, I can't even...Amazing. Just amazing. I want to cry and shower you with flowers at the same time.

This was perfect, from the sad beginning, to the bittersweet end, with Sam being Sam still, but not being Sam and Dean still loving him. I just. No words. Just love. <3

[macbyrne.livejournal.com]

*long sigh*

Oh.

This was just so beautiful. Horrible and heart-wrending, but beautiful, too. I love that Dean couldn't kill Sam, no matter what he'd done, that there was apparently nothing Sam could do that would kill Dean's love for him. I love that Sam tried to give Dean Sam, when he couldn't remember on his own. And I love the way you tied the prologue and the epilogue together with the picture. Absolutely gorgeous.

[ununoriginal.livejournal.com]

this is so achingly bittersweet - ur writing and characterisation is incredibly beautiful, i couldn't stop reading once i started.

[framedhim.livejournal.com]

I've read a few of your fics, and just yes. But this, I'm not sure if wibbling even cuts it. To be frank, there weren't tears because, well, I'm a chick with a cold, dark heart but, there was reported to be some red eyes and blotchy cheeks. So the husband says. I don't like to genuflect too terribly much but wow. The flow of your writing is incrediby easy to fall into, and the chapters blew right past. Getting to the end was an actual surprise because I was reading and not paying attention to chapter headers. And the end, the photo, was a nice way to let go. Don't know if that makes any sense. So yeah, wow. Thank you for taking the time to write this and sharing it with the rest of the fandom.

[locknkey.livejournal.com]

This may not be the most coherent feedback, because I loved this so much - the way you love things that are a mix of joy and pain because they move you so damn much!

- I read the prologue and had to steal myself for the rest - so worth it, but as hear rending as I expected in many places.

- things that made me just so freaking happy: the hoodie, the first hug in the Impala!, the touching, kitten!!!! I also loved the neighbor and the reminder that there are some genuinely loving good people in this world.

- Sam wanting so badly to give Dean what he wants - whether it's breakfast or the Sam that Dean remembers. How could Dean (and the reader) not love new Sam too?

- your Dean voice is exceptional in this. I felt like I was Dean reading this - the broken hollow shell with only the hard, less attractive parts of Dean remaining, to the vulnerable, loving Dean he comes back to. Not for one single second did I get pulled out of this. The depth and desperation and intensity of Dean's love - the fact that there are no lines he won't cross - well that hits every emotional kink I have.

- you killed Sam - When Dean found out about the journals - I realized, like Dean, that the Sam he'd known was gone for good. I love that you owned that - you made them (and the reader) earn their HEA - it was all the sweeter for that. And thanks for giving us the fact that in spite of Sam's memory loss - he is still in personality the person Dean remembers

- I don't care what happens in show - because I can come read this again (and I will and here will be another layer now that I know Sam can't really remember) - the boys deserve a HEA (even if they don't think they do) - so this, gave me one I can have any time I want! *hugs*

- Dean's memories are so strong - a fundamental part of who he is and it rig

- the end - I cried, That juxtaposition of the photo meaning nothing to Sam and the reminder that Sam that lives only in Dean's memories now (which are such a strong and vital part of who this Dean is)- I'm tearing up again just thinking about it.

[venomlaced.livejournal.com]

Since this fic already has five pages of praise I'll simply say that this was excellent in every way. <3

[nachekana.livejournal.com]

What an amazing fic! I just love what you did with Dean, especially how lost he was before Sam started to talk. Sam lying to Dean to make him think that he got his memory back just because he thinks that's what Dean wants is both so cute and so sad.

I just loved the entire atmosphere of this fic, how it ends with such a happy ending.

Thanks for sharing! :)

[howarethosenuts.livejournal.com]

This was amazing! I loved it.

[facetofcathy.livejournal.com]

Wonderful, thank you.

[yourlibrarian]

There's no space left in him to hold the kind of feelings he used to have when Sam was around. And all the things in Sam that made Dean feel that way, they've been stripped away. Whatever's left of Sam is a burned-down building, steel bones looming naked over the ashes of the rest, roof fallen in and nothing inside worth saving. This is the limit, it must be. Dean takes the Pop-Tart. "Want to sit on the porch?"

I loved that description, and Dean's inevitable reaction. An interesting journey to watch of Sam returning to the world and to himself, at least in most ways. It was hard to imagine the thinkiness of Sam replaced with all that blankness, and Dean's worry mowed over by despair.

[kashmir1.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this just tore my heart out, stomped on it and then put it back in my chest only to rip it out again and repeat the process. And I loved every second of it. Gah, so amazing.

I cried my eyes out but this story is just so beautiful and so wonderfully written that I just want to read it all over again right now. (I think I just might do that.)

[etrix.livejournal.com]

Wow, what a vision of what could have been. It was heart-breaking and heart-warming and so well written I was crying even as I smiled. I love your Dean and your Sam-that-is.

I have to agree with some of the other posters when they say you cn draw a full picture in just a couple sentences. Great writing indeed.

[fayedoll.livejournal.com]

This is the achingly most beautiful thing I've probably ever read. It made me equal parts hopeful and cry and I worship every word of this. I'm actually at a loss of words when I'm usually full of praise and squee for fanfuckin'tastic fics like this. I can only with 100% certainty say that this is gonna be a favorite forever and you have done a brilliant job on this!

[sagetan.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. This is just. I have no words.

Thank you for this.

♥

[juicephine.livejournal.com]

I loved this. It was awesome and heartbreaking and PERFECT. The part with Dean having to choose between the old Sam and the one with no memories of him, Jesus CHRIST. Even after it turned out Sam was faking his memories I kept hoping the "real" Sam would come back, or for some hope that he might eventually, but now I think the story works better this way. They did get a happy ending, after all.

♥

[agt-league.livejournal.com]

This was such a wonderful read.

I think you captured the love between Sam and Dean so perfectly even though Sam said yes to Lucifer and Dean didn't understand why he did it.

I also like how you portrayed Sam in a vegetative state after Lucifer left his body - that's how I would imagine he would be also and it fits with what Castiel actually said on the show - that the body would be worse than Raphael's state.

Your descriptions are so beautifully written and I REALLY liked the way it ended.

Such a heartbreaking fic but a really great read.

Thanks so much for writing!

[tabaqui]

Oh, that was....

Intense and ugly and perfect and gorgeous. I loved/hated Dean's self-loathing and his utter inability to let Sam go, and his desire to simply lie down and be dead once Sam is, and Sam....

The glass in his foot, and not wanting spicy food, and reading the journals and pretending.

And Castiel on the radio, selling pot, and the *picture*, damn, just....

Made me grin, made me cry. Loved it.

[superwicked.livejournal.com]

I don't know how to tell you how much I love this fic! It's extraordinary! It's everything a story should be and so much more!

Thank you for writing this masterpiece!

[dana-aeryn.livejournal.com]

Loved this. It was angsty and sweet at the same time. Really loved the pace of it.

[ash-carpenter.livejournal.com]

Wow, that was a really emotional journey. I was hooked! Rather unsettled too, I must admit. I can see why Dean was ready to accept this new blank-slate brother/partner, but it still hurts that his Sam is lost. Really great build-up and pace.

[orbiting-saturn.livejournal.com]

I generally don't read AU or Sam/Dean fics, but I've been a little bored recently so I'm reading anything that sounds interesting based on the summaries. I'm SUPER glad that I chose to read this one. The bleakness of the story coupled with your graceful writing-style really drew me in. It had a slow, but desperate quality that just got under my skin. There were moments that I just held my breath and moments when I teared up.

I really appreciated the way you handled the sexual relationship between them. Just enough hints at the intensity without making it needlessly pornographic. Not that I'm opposed to porn, I just didn't think this story needed it. I found myself rather disappointed when I finished, because I would have been happy to read another ten or more chapters. Very lovely. Thank you.

[oldbatj.livejournal.com]

Cas very nicely summed it up for all of us "Dean Winchester, I's glad you are getting what you deservr". Yay, Winchester Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay you!!
Well done. Dean was masterfully written, both in dialogue and thinking.

[katiebugs18.livejournal.com]

Oh this was wonderful. I love the beginning with the book intro and thought the retelling of Sam would break my heart. The image of him lying there, probably half crazy, repeating 'no' is heartbreaking. I can't help but think that it was the loss of the picture - probably his one source of comfort and strength - that caused him to say 'yes'. The comparison of his saying yes to someone committing suicide is both wonderfully literal and metaphorical because while we'll never know, one can't help but wonder how many suicides want to change their mind the moment after they jump. Beautiful job there.

I really like the idea of Lucifer using up everything of Sam that all he was left with was the most base elements that make up a person. And then him slowly learning everything else, from talking to living to Dean. And of course Dean is wonderful here too...picking this Sam over the memory of his brother because this is what's left and this Sam is real.

The ending was perfect with the photo and the boys together and hopeful. Thank you so much for such a wonderful read. :)

[ktnb]

I've been thinking about this story all day after reading it yesterday. I realized I really should tell you how much I loved it. :)