britomart_is ([personal profile] britomart_is) wrote2010-07-06 08:26 pm

Fic: Dictionary for a Dead Language; Epilogue

Master Post

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Epilogue



Epilogue.




There are two stocky, no-nonsense women drinking antique Coronas in the booth by the door when the kid walks in, making this officially their busiest night since opening.

"Dude," Dean says. "We're cool. We're like a happening spot. We're legitimate business owners."

Sam rolls his eyes and sips from a can of Tab they found in the back closet next to a bag of pork rinds with a pull-date from 1982. "Pillars of the community. Sure they'll give us the key to the city as soon as they're through with the paperwork." Dean punches Sam in the arm. Sam grins till his cheeks hurt.

The young man is standing in front of the bar, staring at Sam. Dean doesn't like it when people stare at Sam. Sam watches Dean's hand casually drifting to rest under the bar where the shotgun is. "I'd ask you for ID," Dean says mildly, "but I'm pretty sure you were a glimmer in the long-haul trucker's eye the last time anyone was issuing government ID. I can hook you up with a grape Fanta. It's a 1995, good vintage."

Sam wishes Dean wouldn't insult people's parentage, particularly since most people's parents are dead these days.

The kid visibly shakes his head as he snaps out of it. "Sorry. I came because I heard a rumor. Wow."

Dean stiffens. He doesn't like it when people hear whispers and come to try to shoot Sam in the back when he turns around to pour their drinks, either. Sam watches Dean's hand curling tighter around the shotgun and jostles him warningly with a knee. The kid's young, swimming in a coat three sizes too big for him, oughta be at some college party, or dragging all his laundry home over break to use his parents' washer. Sam leans over the bar, tries to look non-terrifying. "What can we help you with?"

"Actually, I've got something for you." When the kid reaches into his coat pocket, Sam's afraid Dean'll shoot him, but the kid produces a harmless scrap of paper. A photo. He hands it to Sam. "I thought you'd want this back."

By the time Sam breaks out of his trance, the kid's gone.

"What is it?" Dean asks suspiciously.

"I don't know," Sam says, handing the snapshot over. "I don't remember it."

Sam watches Dean take in the photo, bites his lip at the softening of Dean's facial expression. Dean looks up suddenly. "Where'd that guy get this?"

Sam shrugs. "Don't know. Glad he gave it back. I like it." Sam takes the picture back, lovingly straightening its dogeared edges. "We look happy."

Dean wraps his arms around Sam's waist from behind as Sam turns to face the back of the bar. "We're happy now."

Sam smiles broadly as he tucks the snapshot into the frame of the mirror that spans the wall behind dusty whiskey bottles. "There."

In the photograph, a garish monument looms with styrofoam solemnity in a grassy field. A man, young and momentarily untroubled, smiles bashfully. There's a sun in the sky, and a bird perched on the Welcome to Foamhenge sign. And there are two brothers, together.




the end

franztastisch: (spn)

[personal profile] franztastisch 2010-09-05 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Only once before have I read a fanfiction that meant I couldn't actually do anything once it has finished. Only once. And I'm pretty sure I've been reading fanfiction for a fucking long time.

I managed not to cry. I managed not to cry until the epilogue. And then I knew - I knew - it would be him. And you slayed me.
ext_21612: (sam :: puppy!sam)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
*smoosh* Thank you. Means a lot to me to hear that!
ext_36848: (Default)

[identity profile] andreth47.livejournal.com 2010-09-06 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
I just finished reading this for the second time, and I was hoping I'd have something coherent to say about it this time, but not so much. ;D

It's mercy for them both, at a price, and so bittersweet. This one's going to haunt me (in a good way!).
ext_21612: (sam :: hand porn)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
<3<3<3
(deleted comment)
ext_21612: (metallicar :: headlights in the night)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!
ext_2955: black and white photo of flying birds and a lamp-post (SPN: Looking for a reason)

[identity profile] azdaja-dafema.livejournal.com 2010-09-18 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
So much love for this. It's got kittens! And lost boys running a roadhouse! And love.
ext_21612: (porn :: kiss on the nose)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
♥!

[identity profile] nimenic.livejournal.com 2010-10-25 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm trying to come up with an appropriate comment for this wonderful fic. but it seems that you've rendered me speechless.
So WOW! This was beautiful!
ext_21612: (sam :: sam motherfucking winchester)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much!

[identity profile] tcs1121.livejournal.com 2010-11-01 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
Exceptional. Amazing. Awesome.

The SPN community is grateful to have you writing for us.
ext_21612: (characters :: holy tax accountant)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! :D

[identity profile] aubade-saudade.livejournal.com 2010-11-20 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
pretty much never ever wanted this to end. this is so freaking canon in the way it excruciatingly sweats and bleeds in order to get every little scrap of happiness.

reminded me of this image i got from a comm around here:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
ext_21612: (metallicar :: shiny cars in the night)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
I like that image! And thank you!
ext_901: (Default)

[identity profile] foreverdirt.livejournal.com 2010-11-22 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, wow, this is gorgeous.
ext_21612: (sam :: brain powers FTW)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
♥ Thank you!
(deleted comment)
ext_21612: (samanddean :: canon wincest)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] free-pirate.livejournal.com 2010-11-23 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my God. There are tears running down my face, this was so... tragically beautiful. And I love your style - you can really get lost in it. So much description and you got them spot-on.

Damn. I'm so bookmarking this. :) Thank you for posting this wonderful work of art.
ext_21612: (characters :: lucifer downcast)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!

[identity profile] grace-fully.livejournal.com 2010-11-30 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm going to try to come back and leave more feedback at some point but i just listened to [livejournal.com profile] painted_pain's podfic of this and i have to tell you i flat out lost my shit.

what an absolutely gut-wrenching and beautiful story, with some moments of true beauty. i LOVED the beginning; the opportunity to see the apocalypse aftermath from outside pov, and definitely the story of the boy last seen with sam winchester (FLIPPED over the brilliant storytelling when you brought him back in the epilogue). other memorable moments were dean's complete misstep and double-take over sam's first words to him; the panic in the floodlight; their having to back-pedal out of the restaurant and the awesomeness of neil; and best of all dean's swearing up and down that, between that sam and this one, he'd always pick this one.

i love that you addressed their pain regarding feelings of unworthiness. that is such a universal feeling -- to love something so much that you feel guilty to have it, as if you don't deserve it. a poignant moment to connect with.

this was seriously beautiful storytelling, and i regret missing it earlier this summer. thanks for a great read.
ext_21612: (sam :: dissheveled)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2010-12-01 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
First thing is that I've been away from LJ for a bit and neglected to friend you: remedying now!

Thank you very much for all the feedback, and I'm so pleased to hear that this worked for you - I'm totally psyched that she did the podfic! No one's ever done one for my stories before!

that is such a universal feeling -- to love something so much that you feel guilty to have it, as if you don't deserve it
Totally!

[identity profile] hold-onhope.livejournal.com 2010-12-04 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I had both hands over my mouth for most of this, when I wasn't wiping tears away or trying to scrub my face off. God, this was so gritty, and surprisingly hopeful. Dean letting Sam die, letting this new Sam become the one he was always meant to have. I know this takes place in 2012, I know they're both older in this, but for some reason I kept on picturing what I call baby Sam, season one-era Sam, all bright-eyed and annoying and insisting on things like floss. It breaks my heart that they still think of themselves as monsters, but I would do the same thing, I think. They do deserve their happiness. I loved Niel, because he was sort of proof of that. Some good person who can see the good in others, who knew that there wasn't a whole lot of happiness left in the world. This story in general gave the impression of, if you can get happiness, take it.

This was a great story. I'm stupidly glad that that kid got to see Sam again, give him the picture and know that he's happy. Believing in Sam Winchester's smile. Sometimes I think that's why I come back to the show week after week. ♥
Edited 2010-12-04 19:36 (UTC)
ext_21612: (samanddean :: sammy smile)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, baby!Sam. The image of him hits me pretty hard, too. And I'm glad Neil worked for you! Lovely to hear your thoughts on the story, thank you!

Sometimes I think that's why I come back to the show week after week.
Right there with ya.

[identity profile] mangacat201.livejournal.com 2010-12-04 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
GOD... this was utterly compelling. The way Sam and Dean make a place in the world like that. They are so true to their character!
And those hurty thoughts and introspects just about killed me
Cat
ext_21612: (sam :: head over heels)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
Glad you enjoyed it!

[identity profile] ladytiferet.livejournal.com 2010-12-05 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
That's one of the saddest pieces I've ever read in this fandom, but it's fantastic. Thank you! And Loki, for the trailer that brought me here :]
ext_21612: (dean :: adorable!dean)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
Glad you found your way over here. Thank you very much!

[identity profile] pen-rhovan-nin.livejournal.com 2010-12-07 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
O_O

*lovescriesdies*
ext_21612: (duos :: then it all went wrong)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
♥!

[identity profile] caz2y5.livejournal.com 2010-12-07 01:21 pm (UTC)(link)
This was brilliant. I honestly with the subject matter was half expecting to not make it through the first chapter but this... the way you wove the story and drew into the Characters. Thank you for this.
ext_21612: (jsquared :: hearts in eyes)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you, I'm glad it drew you in!

[identity profile] elliotstagg.livejournal.com 2010-12-09 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
AHHHHH!!! That was a beautiful ending. The way you brought the picture back into it. Bah! I'm amazed. Thanks so much for this!
ext_21612: (sam :: guh)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much!

[identity profile] audreytiphaine.livejournal.com 2010-12-09 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I AM SPEECHLESS. THIS FIC IS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A MAKER OF AMAZING THINGS. HOLY SHIT. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. YOU ARE AWESOME.
ext_21612: (characters :: badass mary)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
*cracking up* Thank you. :D

[identity profile] j2annon.livejournal.com 2010-12-09 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
How can I be so happy and so depressed at the same time? Uggggh. That is the mark of a supremely talented writer.

Everything about this fic. Just everything.
ext_21612: (sam :: eek blood)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
Ahahahahaha. Thank you!

[identity profile] bythedamned.livejournal.com 2010-12-13 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
i think i knew from the beginning that you wouldn't fix it, like really fix it, but at the same time maybe it's good that Sam can't remember serving up the modern world like hors d'oeuvres. what a bittersweet ending. and it breaks my heart that Dean's happy with it. Sam, this Sam, we'll just say doesn't know any better, but Dean's just so willing to take what he can get that it breaks me, just a little. but, that's him.

oh, and Sam gets a kitten. yay for that and his boyish glee.
ext_21612: (jsquared :: hearts in eyes)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
I think taking what happiness they can get is a hard-won lesson for our boys! Glad you enjoyed this, thank you so much for the feedback!

[identity profile] apagon.livejournal.com 2011-01-01 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
wow, this is quite something... you really get into the minds of dean and sam here, create a believable world... thanks for this brilliant piece.
ext_21612: (characters :: henriksen brave new world)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! <3

[identity profile] sunflowerbomb.livejournal.com 2011-01-01 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
::is speechless::

I love you.
ext_21612: (duos :: i care)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-04 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
*beams* Thank you! I got a kick out of your reactions, so glad you enjoyed this. <3

[identity profile] maichan.livejournal.com 2011-01-12 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
I've had this bookmarked to read for months and just got around to doing it tonight. It truly lived up to all the effusive praise and then some.

I really enjoyed the tone of this piece, and the whole process of Dean losing one brother and gaining another. Dean's voice really resounded with me, and not to mention how Sam was so Sam even without his memories.

And your writing style, in general, simply rolls off the tongue. I love how your prose can be both sparse and intricate, and precisely what the narrative needs.
ext_21612: (characters :: mary pretty)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! It's absolutely awesome to hear that the character voices rang true, always something I try to pay attention to. Love your art, by the way!
meus_venator: (Dean b/w samarra08)

[personal profile] meus_venator 2011-01-24 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
Just finished listening to the podfic of your wonderful story. Next will be reading it. Savoring the wonderful language again.

It's hard to show up for a meeting and explain why you are crying because you listened to a Really Freaking Excellent Podfic on the half hour drive to the meeting. Arghh.

You made me laugh, plenty of times and you made me cry (several times, darn you!) and I was petrified that this wouldn't have some kind of a happy ending. That Dean just isn't that lucky afterall.

It was romantic, it was bittersweet, I loved Dean's humanity and the brutal reality of the story. Dean, alone with no support, living on the edge trying to kill Sam in this post apocalyptic world. Who could really blame him for thinking about it. I loved how you referred to Sam as "The Body" Dean's only way to dehumanitize the shell left behind. And then the oh so unclimactic return of Sam to the living world. No big band, nor hizzahs, just what I think it would be, quite, sneaking up on you, just life. And then Sam pushing for what he wanted from Dean and Dean accepting/ giving in, trying to snatch whatever happiness he could/they could. And you aged them too, they weren't just glowing examples of beautiful boyhood, but gradually easing into middle age. So many wonderful details. Such a wonderful pace. And I never wanted to know why Sam said yes, it doesn't really matter. They both paid enough already.

Thank you for your words.
ext_21612: (samanddean :: bicycle built for two)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-02-15 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
Awwww, thank you so much! I must say I couldn't predict myself whether people would experience this as a happy ending. Absolutely lovely to hear your thoughts in such detail - I'll treasure this comment, thank you!

[identity profile] nemo-r.livejournal.com 2011-01-27 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
That was absolutely epic. Really, take my heart apart and put it back together. I still miss Sam, but I love that they've found peace in each other.

I have a thing for characters growing old, and dealing with that, settling into their bodies and recognising the differences. It's especially poignant for ex-hunter types as they have often lost more through injuries, and have more to lose, since they really used their bodies. So Dean-growing-older here, was just wonderful.
ext_21612: (duos :: sam/ruby collage)

[identity profile] britomart-is.livejournal.com 2011-02-15 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. AGAIN. :D I'm always interested to see aging addressed, too!

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